Deep Down Flaws

Wtf?
I've just got told off because I'm "folding clothes wrong"?!
Can't I do anything right?
People think I'm perfect sometimes, wtf? What happened to that low opinion so many people have of me?
Here are the stupid things I've been criticied with before:
Not breathing right
Not walking right
Not eating or drinking right
Not wearing clothes properly, or the colours of the clothes I've been critised for before.
I could go on :/.

But it just reminded me of Al to be honest :/
Forever worrying about if I'm doing something wrong but the only flaw,
Was worrying I was doing something wrong :/
So he left me, *sighs* I don't know and I look at other boys and think;
Am I liking them and wanting to go out with them, maybe so they can partially replace My Alex?:/
Or am I trying to replace the gap he left behind?

I'm not sure,
But deep down I'm still being torn.
One of my mates said, when I told her who I liked
: " They're not Alex,..."
I know :/ and I know every boy, every relationship is different.
It just reminds me of the past I had, The past I need, The past I want, And the past I miss


x...

Permission.

Ugh.
For the past week I've been having people tell me how to live my life, or how to, have my relationship with my boyfriend properly.
WTF
Sorry but i thought it was a free country.
I'm sick and tired of other people trying to get themselves into MY LIFE, MY SITUATIONS, MY PROBLEMS
and making problems in my life of their fucking own accord.
FUCK OFF
As my friend agrees with me, it's MY LIFE it's ME that's got tp live it so why the hell are you getting yourself involved?
I'm sick of people like this, they make me disgusted.
AND HALF OF THEM ARE HYPERCRYPTS!!!
Like last week (naming no names),
My friend told me that i was acting wrongly in my relationship with Al,
wth? Sorry but I'm Happy, HE'S happy, so why get yourself involved?
They said they wasn't the only one who noticed.
FIRST OF ALL
You don't even hang around with me so how the hell do you know?
Secondly, If you say your not the only one who's notice does that mean your having private bitching sessions about me behind my back?
AND AGAIN
HYPERCRYPT!
Do you want me to remind you about last year? Where you rang me up early in the morning crying because you thought someone was hitting on our boyfriend just because they said hi to them on bebo or msn?
Oh I'm Sorry, I'm Not Allowed To Get Into YOUR Life The Way You Immerse Yourself In Mine.
Saying about how Insecure i am about him and how i "get jealous easily" is really going to make me calm down isn't it?

So you've been a backstabbing hypercrypt to me? Teasing me about it the next day? And you expect me to be your friend?
Thanks.
Thanks for your support and Loyalty as a friend.

To Be Honest, I Could Easily, VERY Easily Go On Talking About This For Another Seven Pages But That Wouldn't Be Very Entertaining.

* * * *

I went into morning regestration yesterday, and before I'd even sat down I was getting asked
"Jess, Why did you dress up as Superman on your bebo?"
(Myself)"Coz I Wanted to?"
They then started to talk about me from the other side of the room.
WHAT THE FUCK?

First off I don't even talk to you and no offence but I barely LIKE you anyways :/.
Grr, worry about your own life not mine. Geez.

All these people in life just think I aim to please THEM.
Sorry but it's my life i do what i want, how i want, WHEN i want.
SO BACK OFF!

Thanks.

xo

One thing means another.

Some people think they can just say one thing to someone then bitch about them behind their back.
("Friend")"Let's have a sleepover soon yeah? Talk about stuff, havn't seen you in ages."
When actually behind your back they say they hate your guts and are going to try and wreck your life.
What the hell?
Stop being childish will you?
This just goes back to my earlier Post "Rumours."

Why don't people just learn to grow up.
Stop being two-faced and learn to accept and deal with your problems and not cause them for other people.
You're either friends with someone or you're not. Don't Pretend.


ScribbleText

xxx

Rumours.

Childish.

Rumours in one word.
Pathetic arguments, bitching, rumours etc.
Why?
What's the point? "You bitched about me, i hate you." blah blah blah
For God's Sake.
Grow up, what as if noone's allowed to make mistakes? Noone's allowed to sit down sometimes and just tell someone EXACTLY what's been bugging them without it all being turned into a big fight?
Look darling, If someone's "bitched" about you, doesn't that mean you've obviously upset your friend? Sometimes without noticing?
So instead of appologizing and trying to sort it out, the fight's begin and there's even more bitching.
You're missing the point, you just had your chance to make everything better and you just put it on a train and sent it to TimBuckTu.

Then you say you still want to be friends with the person who's bitched about you. Pfft.
You just had your chance Love.

And For GOD'S SAKE!
You're no better!
So don't act like this is the first time someone's bitched about you, or like you've never bitched before.
You're not Perfect either. Don't act like you are, because that's just living a lie, you know it everyone else does, and do you honestly think you'll get your friends back then?
Forgive and forget, the bitching probably wasn't that bad.
Were they sober? Influenced? Forced to bitch? Wanted to fit in?

Life's too short, If you both want to be friends after all that crap, doesn't that mean something?
That maybe they care about you so much they don't want to lose you as a friend after everything that's just happened?
Maybe you've got yourself a true friend there Mate, hold onto them,
Or you could of just lost them

xo

Copycat.

Huh,
Me and Oddball have agreed on something lately.
People Yell at you when you're not doing what they want,
for not being like them.
Then when you ARE doing what they want and copy-ing them like they told you,
They yell at you!!

Ffs make your mind up and decide our style's, future's, and lives for us will you?
Oh tell you what I will for once will I?
Right I deicde I'll do whatever the FUCK I WANT.
Choose MY OWN LIFE, and MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS.
Thank you Very Much.

Can noone do anything right but yourself?
Is the rest of the world slaves while we all hail at your feet?
Oh yes, You're Perfect We'll Just follow your Perfect EXCELLENT example.

Oh Brilliant!!
We're all saved ¬¬

Maybe it sounds like I'm Over-doing this but at least I'm getting my point across hopefully.
Everyone want's you to be like them, we all think we're perfect, we all think we live in this fairy-palace place from time to time.

Popularity is hard.
So I'll Do What I Want, Hang Around With Who I Like Whether You Like It Or Not.
Call My Friends What You Want, Call Me What You Want, Becasue You Know What?

It's Me!
Not your version of perfect me, not what you want me to be or who you think Ishould be.
It's the better side of myself whether you agree or not.
Deal With It! Take Me Or Walk Away, Because This Is It Baby!

*needed to get that off my chest*

You know what?
I think I'll hang around with people who accept me rather than those who look down at me (:
x


Toodles !lol
xxxo

>.< Hmmm Tricky Situation.....

Just hopes he doesn't read this......

To be honest lately I've noticed I'm getting rather close to one of my boy mates:/. which is good because he's like a brother to me and we get on really well.
Yes i know it sounds like the "ooh i like my boy mate" problem ¬¬ I get it.

Maybe it is another of those problems.
But to be honest in some ways, I'm not this close to Alex (My Now Boyfriend >,< (: )
Now Me and Alex got very close very quickly but i don't really talk to him about my problems >,<.

And now I feel like I'm getting closer to my boy mate than i am to Alex :/
He's called me dear or something and when we had an uber cool converstaion like last week,
he really cheered me up. :/ We said we were mucking about and we were, we weren't using that as a crappy excuse we weren't really getting close in that respect. I think we're just getting more comfortable around each other maybe?
This Good or Bad? =/

I don't like my boy mate I'm just getting used to him being there and helping I guess, =/ I just hope he doesn't all of a sudden decides he wants to be more than friends >,<. I doubt it as noone ever likes me in that way but hey, I'm getting close we both say we cheer other up so what do you expect me to say? :/

Meh It;s probably just a phase ^^

Write soon, I'll keep you posted LOL

xxo

Privacy.

Is it just me or does it seem like people expect you to tell them everything nowadays?
Especially if you're upset or have a problem.
If I'm upset and someone asks whats wrong sometimes it's too difficult to explain, i don't want to talk about it or something like that but people are like
(Friend)"Come on tell me I want to help, I'm upset too we'll have a big talk :)". But sometimes you don't WANT to tell them but they insist. If this happens to me i just simply say
"I don't want to talk about it and you probably won't understand, no offence".

What happens?
(Friend)" Oh I will come on tell me I want to help, we'll have a big talk." blah blah blah.
INSISTING on you to tell them.
"Ok,ok I'll tell you but you won't understand"
(Friend)"I will dw (:"


What happens? They don't understand, get the wrong perpsective, the wrong idea, and won't listen when you try to say they got it wrong. If you try to say the right version they won't listen and give you pointless crap advice that are to do with their version in their head and not the REAL version.

"look dw bout it I'll sort it out myself, now tell me what's wrong with you?(: I'm here for you."
(Friend) " Oh dw about me, I'm not saying(:"


WHAT THE...

Ok so you're going to have a talk about each others problems with your mate,
they get the wrong idea about your idea and don't listen,
then don't tell you theirs?!?!

(Friend)"Dw you won't understand (:"

That didn't exactly stop you from insisting on hearing our's sweetheart.

(Sorry if this makes no sense lol)

Oh yeah and if it DOESN'T make sense,

Dw you won't understand...


xo

Friends Are Like Brothers&&Sisters.

The afternoon of today was a lot better to be honest :)
Sat and talked to Abbie which helpes cleared my head quite a bit (see previous blog "Ugh. Boys").
And now I'm currently talking to Antony who's cheered me up a hell of a lot. The converstaion we've been having is immense lol. So funny he said I've cheered him up too.
But I'm not here to brag.
The point is you can always count on your true friends to be there when you need them :)
Yes, i know one or two of my mates weren't online at the time.
But I'm not dis-including them.
I'm just saying, when you're feeling down, DON'T be afraid to ask a friend for help.
They could need help too. All you need is to help each other out ^^. Even if your doing it without Realising. Just talking makes the problems Vanish sometimes :)
So Thank you to Ab+The Ant who've Helped Me Tonight (: x

xo

Ugh. Boys

Boys will be Boys

Quite Literally.
One Day they'll say something, the next when you go to sort it all out they say they meant something different.
complicated miss mash it all is tbh ive just crumpled it all up into a big paper ball and thrown it to th other side of th room.
Basic Summary of Boys: one minute they'll say one thing th next they'll say something totally different >.>

Cant Be Bothered to write the rest out to be honest.
I'm going to throw the paper ball further away i think,>.> Can't deal with this anymore.

Scribble soon.....
depends xo

FFS Over-reaction

24th May 2009 x

Lately nearly EVERYONE keeps over-dramatising their problems and it's getting so FRUSTRATING.
Yeah so life isn't fair, easy, you can't always have what you want. GROW UP! Everyone keeps making problems for themselves or making them even worse and bigger in their heads, so when they actually come to sort out the problem they purposely over-dramatise it and make their original problem worse. No, instead of sorting out the problem they make it worse then complain about it. UGH.
For instance my friend Lauren was having a few problems and asked me for advice, not complaining, i asked if she wanted to talk not like other people who go off complaining their ass off and force people to listen.
She was having a load of problems, over-dramatising things in her head, i told her this and told her to calm down. If her friends were real friends they'd understand and forgive her.
Next day she logged back on MSN to tell me when she went to sort out the problem she remebered everything i said and it all went fine.
You know what? She said THANK YOU, Whereas unlike some people who make out they come up with the solution themselves or ignored the advice and pretended they put the advice into action but it made things worse. BULL SHIT

For God's SAKE people, just learn how to grow up.
Sorry for having a good old rant, but it's what i needed xD

xo